Misc. & Etc.

First day of school prayer...

2010-08-23T04:45:00.000-07:00

I am sending my youngest off to her first day of kindergarten today. She will probably be the youngest in her class, turning 5 on the 26th of this month. This prayer is specifically for her...

Father of all mercies
We ask that you would bless
the youngest and littlest of learners,

the most helpless and powerless of persons,

with Your infinite and loving mercy,

granting them the strength to learn, concentrate,

and act appropriately towards their teachers and fellow students.

We also ask that You would watch over them,

at home and at school

and grant them proper direction so that they may learn of

Your wonderful virtues.

We ask this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen

(Prayer by David Bennett)

No Fear

2010-08-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

I received a story in an email recently….maybe you’ve seen it. The text is below:

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, “Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.” Very quietly, the doctor said, “I don't know.”

“You don't know? You’re a Christian man and don't know what's on the other side?” The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, “Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before and he didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing...”

“I know my Master is there and that is enough.”

Hmmm….that one makes you think, doesn’t it?

Well, first you kind of have to get past the plausibility of a dog being in a doctor’s office. Not realistic. Once past that, the email is compelling to think about in a lot of ways.

I went to Eucharistic Adoration at my church shortly after receiving the email I mentioned above. For all of you who aren’t Catholic, Adoration is an opportunity to spend prayerful time in the chapel talking with Jesus in His presence via the Holy Eucharist. I don’t do this nearly enough and always leave Him feeling refreshed, renewed and loved.

Anyway, while sitting in the quiet chapel my mind wandered back to this email. I thought of how this scenario can relate to so many things in life. To me, the door can represent a lot of our life experiences: new opportunities, new relationships, things we are scared of, people we need to forgive, how hard we are on ourselves, our need to feel a sense of control, our ability to trust (or not)….the list is endless.

We all have these doors in our lives. And we can often feel God reaching out to us, nudging us, beckoning us to go through them. Calling us to trust, to love, to forgive, to let go. And so often we hesitate at those doors.

Sometimes His call is so strong we can almost physically hear it. It’s almost like you can audibly hear the words being said:

“Trust me."
“Do not be afraid.”
“Go ahead…forgive her as I have forgiven you.”
“You are wonderfully and beautifully made…don’t be so hard on yourself…you are created in My image.”
“I am with you.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
“No matter what happens you will be okay.”
“I will never leave you.”

Everything He is saying above is true. The above words are either directly out of the Good Book or a paraphrase…those are the promises of God. And if anyone can be trusted to keep a promise, it’s Him!

So…back to the email. I know that no one likes being compared to a dog (although maybe that’s not such a bad thing!) but in this story, that’s what we should be striving for. To leap with abandon through the doors of life just knowing that our Master is there.

So what are you waiting for? Has God presented you with an opportunity? A new job? A chance to forgive someone and bring long-awaited healing? The opportunity for some overdue renewal with your spouse? The choice to see yourself as He does, with accepting rather than overly-critical eyes?

That list is endless as we are presented with decisions and crossroads each and every day.

Next time you are, think about the trusting dog in the story above. He didn’t think about going through the door. He didn’t mull it over…pause…procrastinate…doubt…hesitate.

NO! He bounded with joy through the door because of WHO was inside! We can always do the same thing. No matter what is in front of us, we know without any doubt that we are not alone. Just listen for that still, small voice in your heart calling you.

“Fear not, I am with you; be not dismayed; I am your God. I will strengthen you, and help you, and uphold you with my right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

The door is there…are you ready to walk through it? Or better yet – are you ready to eagerly bound through it with gladness?

Until next time,
Chris

I didn't know I could feel this way at 39...

2010-07-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

My Daddy has a new girlfriend. I am thrilled for him. He sounds so in love. I think after years of loneliness and the sadness of losing my Mom for what he described at Christmas as "the second time" when she passed away. I am so glad he has found someone to share his time with. Where it will lead I don't know.

Last night while I was visiting with him on the phone I said I would like to see a picture of the two of them, Connie (that's her name, isn't it beautiful?) figured out how to text me a pic. It was so nice to finally put a face with the name. My dad has been seeing her for a while after all and they commute to see each other from St. George to Provo every single week. Daddy called a while later and asked me what I thought. I said she was really nice looking and I hoped that things continued to work out. He said she really wants to be my friend and I could call and talk to her anytime. She would really love that. I told him I would sometime soon.

I didn't know that at age 39 I would feel like someone was trying to take the place of my Mom. Although I am sure this is so far from the truth, I can understand how children feel about step parents. She wants to know me because she loves my Dad and I am a big part of his life, nothing more than that. Since I feel the same, I will be calling her. I just wanted to acknowledge to the universe that I feel like I do. Makes me miss my Mom again...

~Lanie

Why I love our parish priest...

2010-07-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

An incredible speaker and writer! I love to read his blog. The latest post is entitled "Avoiding the Undesirables of Summer". Read it, and you will see what I mean!

~Lanie

Everyone has a story...

2010-06-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this with a quick synopsis of 2009:

March - I had to put my two kitties ages 14 and 15 down within 11 days of each other.

April - My maternal Grandmother passed away. A long failing heart finally gave in.

August - My Father-in-Law passed away. Rather sudden, he hadn't been feeling well, went into the hospital, was sent home 3 weeks later on hospice and passed away the night they brought him home.

September - I underwent major upper and lower jaw surgery to relieve me of years of sleep apnea.

October - My sweet Mama passed away after a long and painful battle with a body that just wouldn't cooperate and ovarian cancer.

I was tired from lack of sleep, crushed by the onslaught of death in my family.

About a week after Mama passed away, I went to church with my family. At the Catholic Church, in the middle of the mass the deacon and or priest will offer up Prayers of the Faithful. To which the parish will reply "Lord, hear our prayer" after each offer. Wait, let me back up... reminder, my mom lived and died in Arizona, only a scant handful of people here in Texas knew her. I was standing with my husband when I heard the words "For those who have passed before us.... Barbara (leaving her last name out)". I was surprised her name had been said. Later I remembered that our sweet Deacon Chuck who had married us and baptized one of our daughters had been following it all through my friend Chris and on Facebook. I had to bury my face in my husband's chest so that I didn't cry out. But still, those around me heard. As we sat back down, I saw the woman next to me dab her eyes with a tissue.

As I sat in the church that day, I looked around at all the different people. Our church is big, like several masses a weekend, several thousand parishioners BIG. I thought to myself, everyone has a story. Miscarriage, divorce, infidelity, death, terminal illness and the list goes on and on. We don't know what those stories of other people are, but God does and when we ask for His comfort, peace and healing He is there, even when we feel like he isn't. I have also learned through hindsight, He is there even when we don't cry out to Him and acknowledge it.... He is there.

Yesterday, I watched my little girls play at the neighborhood pool. At the beginning of this summer, Nikki dared not get her face wet. I watched as she jumped off the side holding my fingers and came up out of the water, hair wet and water streaming down her face with a big ole grin of excitement and then as she swam two feet to the steps, face in the water, unassisted and popped up with a big celebratory, "YES, I DID IT!"

I watched my girls spread their towels on lounge chairs and lay pointing at the sky, chattering in their little girl voices about the clouds and how quickly they were moving.

My heart was overcome with joy. Just months ago, I was overcome with grief and my body was so tired, I didn't even want to leave the comfort of my house. With time and God's love, my spirit is on the mend now and I have the energy to keep up with my sweet babies.

I ran across this video this morning. I have seen ones like it before. I was just reminded about my day at mass and how I looked around. Everyone has a story...

~Lanie

The Knots Prayer...

2010-06-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

THE KNOTS PRAYER.

Dear God :

Please untie the knots that are in my mind ,

my heart my life.

Remove the have nots ,

the can nots and the do nots

that I have in my mind

Erase all the will nots ,

might nots

that may find a home in my heart .

Release me from the could nots

would nots

that obstruct my life .

And most of all

Dear God ;
I ask that you remove from my mind ,

my heart and my life

all the “ am nots”

that I have allowed to hold me back ,

especially the thought,
that I am not good enough

Author Known to God .

He Never Said...

2010-06-19T17:44:00.000-07:00

~Lanie

Some days are easier than others...

2010-06-11T05:25:00.000-07:00

Mom has been gone from this earth, but not my heart for 8 months. Some days are easier than others. This past week, I have really been missing her again. My own journey as a mother is changing each day of course. Just thought I would share a picture of her when I was about 6. She was beautiful wasn't she?

This and the pic of her on my side bar are how I am choosing to remember her. Sometimes it is hard to shake the image of our last goodbye out of my mind. She was small and bone thin and didn't look at all like the vibrant woman you see in the pictures. This video helps though. It is a beautiful story...

I was watching So You Think You Can Dance last night and a choreographer named Mia lost her mother recently. She choreographed this amazing dance about time and how quick it goes by. Basically she had 3 male dancers act as a little boy, a middle aged man and an old man. It was very powerful and moving to me. It all just goes by too quickly. I would post a video, but since it was on just last night, I can't find one. :)

Enjoy each moment today and hug someone you love.

~Lanie

Because I suffer from problems with emotions...

2010-06-08T05:08:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share this with you all. Lysa TerKeurst from Proverbs 31 Ministries is doing a little series of posts on raw emotions and how to get a hold of them. Often I find myself acting on feelings instead of facts. This is probably a side effect of being a woman, but sometimes I get out of control. I am loving reading Lysa's take on feelings being "indicators and not dictators".

Here are the posts I have read recently.

Feelings - We are more than feelings.
Raw Emotions
and today... One Good Choice

If you suffer from emotional upheaval when things don't go right, I encourage you to read Lysa's posts. Also, I would love to hear how you handle your emotions.

~Lanie

Love getting reminders from other bloggers...

2010-05-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

Great reminder today. See Peggy's post at Embracing Life. Enjoy your weekend.

~Lanie

Love Letters to God, Chapter One...

2010-05-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

I have read many blogs and done my fair share of commenting on things I read. But this is my very first actual blog! Thank you Lanie for letting me be a part of this. And to everyone else, I’m a newbie so please be kind… :)

Since I was in high school (more years ago than I care to admit…!) I have participated in retreats. I have attended quite a few and have been on retreat staffs. One very common thread in the retreat process is the idea of journaling. I think of journals as written prayers…like love letters to God. By journaling prayerfully, I believe God sees and shares in our attempts to understand ourselves and Him even more. Bet that makes Him smile!

In the same way, I like to think of blogs as kind of public journaling – not just a way for me to order my thoughts to make sense of them but hopefully to help the reader to make sense of their thoughts and feelings. We are all much more alike than we are different. Because of that, I hope and pray that my random musings will perhaps help someone else along in their journey.

So, as I begin blogging here, my prayer is this…a quote from the tireless missionary Hudson Taylor:

"I used to ask God to help me. Then I asked if I might help Him. I ended up by asking God to do His work though me."

May my words always be from Him and for Him.

And in the perhaps less serious but equally wise words of Dr. Seuss:

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not!”

I care, which is why I want to write….to try to make a difference with my words.

But more importantly God cares! He cares for each of us so much that it is beyond our feeble human comprehension. I think that’s “the thing”….to stop trying to wrap our heads around the love of God but strive to wrap our hearts around it. To figure out how to KNOW IT, FEEL IT, LIVE IT…each and every day.

Like Lanie said, sometimes we feel close to God and sometimes we don’t. And a lot of times, it’s situational. For me, I feel close to God during really tough times when I pray and seek Him so earnestly. I also feel Him intensely in the really good times when I feel like my heart can scarcely contain the overflowing joy. But how about the in-between times?

Paul wrote some of his New Testament letters while in prison. One of my favorites is his letter to the Philippians…specifically the “rejoice” verses. Just think – he was encouraging the readers to rejoice in the love, care and providence of God while he was in prison!

I’m pretty sure the prison Paul was in wasn’t like the prisons of today (air conditioned, three meals a day, basketball courts, medical care, etc.) I’m picturing his cell as being a dark, dirty, desolate place with little hope. And yet his message to us is to REJOICE!

Philippians 4: 4-5

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near.

The Lord is near. Not just in the good times and really tough times but ALL THE TIME. Even in the in-between times.

Dear Lord, may the ability to rejoice in You always be with us regardless of circumstance. May we feel Your loving presence always. Help us to know the joy that is You.

The journey begins!

~ Chris

I have an idea! Great changes for this blog!

2010-05-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

My post title reminds me of the time we picked up a stress ball (you know those spongy things you squeeze and supposedly they provide stress relief... yeah, well), it was in the shape of a light bulb. Katie was about 3 and came running into the room with it above her head yelling, "Mom! Daddy! I have an idea!" Then dissolving into fits of giggles! But... I digress.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been pondering the fact that I felt so very close to God while going through so much last year (just read back a few posts and you will understand). I have noticed that I don't feel as close to God. I don't want to just feel close to Him when things are tough, I want to feel close to Him always. I want to live with the deep joy and satisfaction that He is holding me in His precious arms every day.

I have a friend that is most certainly a gift from God. She and I marvel at how He moved to put us together. Her name is Chris. In 2005 I decided to convert to Catholicism. My husband is Catholic and we were married in the church. We were raising our child in the church and I felt called to join. I believe that was the best choice I have ever made. As an adult entering the church I was provided with a sponsor to share my journey (much like a child's Godparent). My sponsor was Chris and she has been a best friend every since.

I was talking with my Chris yesterday and we talked about a little bit of everything. As usual, for 1-1/2 hours our conversations flowed seamlessly from one topic to the next and sometimes back again. Time spent with Chris is like a cool drink on a hot day... very refreshing! Anyway, I was telling Chris a little about my dilemma and that I how I got to thinking how nice it would be if we had a place to share and write out our thoughts on our daily walk with God. She loved the idea and so, I think this blog will take a little turn. Chris is now going to have access to write posts here too!

While Chris and I are of the Catholic faith, we invite all of you to share your thoughts in the comment section of our posts. We can all be sounding boards for each other of what we are learning in our walk with Jesus. Because every person has a different journey to walk on this earth we may not always understand what others are going through. Chris and I have different trials from each other and our other friends, but I know one thing is certain, we all want a closer relationship with our Father. Hopefully this blog will encourage us and remind us to keep running to Him every day.

God and Dog

2010-03-04T15:32:00.001-08:00

This sweet video was sent to me by a dear friend of mine. I love it!

Embrace Life

2010-03-01T05:17:00.000-08:00

It is an advertisement, but it sure is a good one!

Yet another one...

2010-02-28T12:22:00.001-08:00

Another body succumbed to cancer this morning. My Uncle Sherwood passed away today. Although I was not close to him, I feel fresh grief from the loss of my mother and grief for his children, my aunt and my Daddy. Rest in peace.

Saint Margaret Mary...

2010-02-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

So many people cannot forgive themselves, even after they have been forgiven. I did this, I was baptized and forgiven 5 years ago this spring and yet I hung on for the longest time to the guilt of things that I have done in my past.

I attended a moms bible study at our church for the first time yesterday.I was unfamiliar with St. Margaret Mary until then. Our discussion had turned to the fact that we are still in "shadow" when we are living with guilt after we have been forgiven. Joan, our facilitator told us a story about St. Margaret Mary. Anyone who is familiar with her will know she is responsible for the spread of the Sacred Heart Devotion. Jesus appeared to her many times. Joan, our facilitator told the story of a priest who asked her when she saw Jesus again to ask him what his (the priest's) worst sin ever was. The priest waited and waited, on pins and needles as Joan put it, to find out what Jesus would say to St. Margaret Mary. One day the priest finally saw her and asked anxiously, "What did Jesus say my greatest sin was?" and St. Margaret Mary replied very simply, "He said that he forgot."

Gives a whole new meaning to "forgive and forget" doesn't it?

Forgiven...

2010-02-25T11:39:00.001-08:00

"When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ."

(Lyrics from the song Forgiven by Sanctus Real)

When you feel like no one is paying attention...

2010-02-21T17:09:00.000-08:00

This was passed to me by a very close friend a few weeks ago when my computer was on the fritz and just tonight, I remembered to watch it. It is great when you wonder why you are doing what you are doing in this life. Enjoy.

How He Loves Us

2010-02-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-12T20:03:00.001-08:00

I miss you Mama...

Gratitude

2010-02-12T15:05:00.000-08:00

It's not Monday, but I feel like doing this anyway...

13. My mother's ring and bracelet to wear and remind me of her

14. Date night with C

15. Church nursery to watch children for said date night

16. Talks on the phone with my sister

17. Jazzercise

18. a renewed sense of peace

19. Sleep that leaves me energized for the day to come

Guard your heart?

2010-02-11T04:24:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was going through my favorite blog posts in Google Reader, I came across this post at Heart to Heart with Holley. It's a cute little story, but what really got me is what she said about the scripture, "Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23. A few who know me know my daily struggle and the words Holley wrote in this post fit so perfectly.

So for the moment I will focus on "contentment".

Prayer for God's Protection and Christ's Presence

2010-02-10T04:12:00.000-08:00

I know it has been a while. I have been going through what my fellow retreaters and I this past weekend call "deep waters". But I have been thrown a life preserver and my heart has been uplifted. So... I am ready to share that love.

This past weekend, I was able to spend 2 days at a retreat for women called Women In The Spirit. There was much prayer, discussion and best of all silent time to reflect on God and sit with him. I really needed this and received much peace regarding my latest trials.

In an effort to keep that going, I will be posting here music and prayers that I find uplifting as well as quotes and art. If you have something to share that uplifts or speaks to you, please do!

Prayer for God's Protection and Christ's Presence

As I arise today, may the strength of God pilot me,
the power of God uphold me,
and the wisdom of God guide me.

May the eye of God look before me,
the ear of God hear me,
the word of God speak for me.

May the hand of God protect me,
the way of God lie before me,
the shield of God defend me,
the host of God save me.

May Christ shield me today...
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit
Christ when I stand,
Christ in the hear of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
~St. Patrick
I promise not too stay gone so long again. There is too much to share. My cup overflows...

I'm joining the Gratitude Community!

2010-01-04T20:37:00.000-08:00

I found a lovely website this past weekend and it is just beautiful to visit.

Check this out...

I've joined, and thus begins my counting...

1. God's Grace
2. Nikki's smile
3. Katie's smile
4. A good cup of coffee
5. Chuck
6. Gina
7. Aamie
8. Chris
9. Mika
10. Dad
11. Izzy the cat
12. Bella the cat

... to be continued! :)

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T06:07:00.000-08:00

I struggled to get through yesterday. I just wanted 2009 over with! This morning, I sit with my cup of coffee and think... wow! Finally a new beginning!

2009 was a very hard year to say the least, but I received at least two very special gifts because I went through it. One was the gift of friendship and the realization of just how much I am loved and love in return the special friends that I have. Aamie, Gina and Chris, you light up my life with such a beauty and make my darkest days seem so much brighter. Of course that brings me to my second gift, the gift of growing closer to God. He planted the three of you in my life at a time when he new I would need you the most. He brought me and my family through 2009 all the more closer to each other. He is awesome and my one true hope is that I will continue to grow even closer to Him and my one true goal is to make Him the center of my life and days.
I am officially ready for 2010. Because "I can do all things through Christ."

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

old things have passed away;
all things have become new...
~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Friends...

2009-12-16T05:23:00.000-08:00

A friend loves at all times,

And a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

Thanking God for my beautiful friends today.

Psalm 91

2009-12-13T06:36:00.000-08:00

You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
Say to the LORD, "My refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust."
God will rescue you from the fowler's snare, from the destroying plague,
Will shelter you with pinions, spread wings that you may take refuge; God's faithfulness is a protecting shield.
You shall not fear the terror of the night nor the arrow that flies by day,
Nor the pestilence that roams in darkness, nor the plague that ravages at noon.
Though a thousand fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, near you it shall not come.
You need simply watch; the punishment of the wicked you will see.
You have the LORD for your refuge; you have made the Most High your stronghold.
No evil shall befall you, no affliction come near your tent.
For God commands the angels to guard you in all your ways.
With their hands they shall support you, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the asp and the viper, trample the lion and the dragon.
Whoever clings to me I will deliver; whoever knows my name I will set on high.
All who call upon me I will answer; I will be with them in distress; I will deliver them and give them honor.

With length of days I will satisfy them and show them my saving power.

Who's shelter will you dwell in today? Who will you cling to today? Who will you call upon today?

When...

2009-12-09T18:32:00.000-08:00

Found this on Addison's sidebar at her blog Finding Normal. Just thought I would share.

When

When you are the neediest,

He is the most sufficient.

When you are completely helpless,

He is the most helpful.

When you feel totally dependent,

He is absolutely dependable.

When you are the weakest,

He is the most able.

When you are the most alone,

He is intimately present.

When you feel you are the least,

He is the greatest.

When you feel the most useless,

He is preparing you.

When it is the darkest,

He is the only Light you need.

When you feel the least secure,

He is your Rock and Fortress.

When you are the most humble,

He is the most gracious.

When you can't,

He can.

~Author Unknown

Hope

2009-12-04T04:46:00.000-08:00

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints. Eph. 1:18

May we all know the truth about ourselves, our relationships and God today.

I hope you continue to indulge me...

2009-12-03T15:28:00.000-08:00

I have a very small group of followers for this blog, but I hope you all will continue to stick by me.

Been feeling kind of far away from God. Missing Mom and grieving her, but I figured out today that that isn't the only thing I am grieving about. I am grieving about lost time. So many, many years I have gone without sleep and since my surgery in September, I have felt the fog lifting little by little and getting glimpses of the happier me, the me I can be when I am well rested. I just feel like so much time has been wasted because I was tired. I especially grieve for the time lost with my little ones. I can't remember my 4 year old learning to walk for goodness sake!

If you are having trouble with your sleep for whatever reason, I strongly urge you to seek help. Being well rested makes a world of difference.

I'm gonna leave you with this video today...

Tell me who you are missing. It's okay and safe here. And to each of you I pray that God cradles you in his hands as you go through the grieving process.

Thankful...

2009-12-02T05:05:00.000-08:00

Today, I am thankful for:

1. The restored health of my little girl to return to school today.

2. The sight and sound of my 4 year old telling her Daddy goodbye at the front door and her Daddy taking the extra moment to squat down and get his hug and kiss for the day.

3. Two precious kitties that have only been here 4 days, but have already worked their way into our hearts.

4. My own health, good sleep and ability to do the things I love.

5. My husband's job and income that keep us safe, warm, fed and adequately provided for.

Your turn, what are you thankful for?

Tears

2009-11-19T17:01:00.000-08:00

"Tears.

Those tiny drops of Humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our cheeks, and splash on the floor of our hearts. They were there that day. They are always present at such times. They should be, that's their job. They are miniature messengers; on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. They drip, drop and pour from the corner of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess. They tumble down our faces with announcements that range from the most blissful joy to darkest despair."

The principle is simple; when words are most empty, tears are most apt."

An excerpt from Max Lucado's No Wonder They Call Him the Savior pp. 105-106

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." ~Rev. 21:4

How about you? Have you cried tears of sorrow or joy lately?

Just had to say it...

2009-11-17T18:50:00.001-08:00

Missing Mom... :(

5 Things I am Thankful for Today...

2009-11-17T04:33:00.000-08:00

1. Friends... I cannot count the number of times I have been rescued by mine this year. Sometimes I feel undeserving of their love, but I am so glad I have it. You know who you are!

2. A hardworking husband... C does a fantastic job providing for our family.

3. My children... Beautiful girls I hope will blossom into beautiful caring women.

4. Talent... May I know exactly the talent I possess and not squander the abilities that God has given me.

5. A warm cup of coffee on a cold morning. YUM!

What about you? What are you thankful for on this beautiful day?

Time flies...

2009-11-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

I look at the date on my computer screen and I cringe. November 15th already. Today, I am just going to write.

This year has held so much. The deaths of my maternal grandmother, father-in-law and my mother. Not as relevant, but sad just the same, I put my 14 and 15 year old cats down in early spring within 11 days of each other. I have suffered with sleep apnea for years. Thankfully the upper/lower jaw surgery was successful and I seem to be sleeping better. But... it is November 15th! Where does the time go?

I look at my babies that aren't really babies anymore. They are 4 and 6. The 4 year old is starting kindergarten next fall. I look at her and think, I was so tired in the past 4 years I can't remember her being a toddler. I can't get it back. I panic when I think how fast the time is going.

I have some issues with my marriage. Who doesn't. I won't broadcast them here, but I panic when I think life could be sweeter if we could just iron out the wrinkles.

I have dreams and goals and I panic when I think life is passing so quickly and I don't seem to be getting anything accomplished.

Yikes Lanie.... Breathe and live in the moment. Remember it is how you live.

I wanted to embed the video, but it looks like Point of Grace doesn't want us to have that option. I can respect that, so here is the link to How You Live.

Enjoy and please share how you bring yourself back to living in the present moment.

One of the firsts without Mom...

2009-11-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

Although they were divorced 5 years before she passed. Their love remained.

See my post here for evidence.

Today would be their anniversary. So... Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.

I love you both.

Living and leaving a legacy....

2009-11-05T05:05:00.000-08:00

This beautiful painting was done by my mother about 8 years ago. It is supposedly of St. Therese, but after having so many people ask if it was a self portrait, my sister and I have come to the conclusion that it is.

We had a memorial for Mom this past weekend. It was both sad and sweet. So many wonderful people from her life in the past few years were there. I had never met most of them. Even 4 nurses from her stay in the hospital this past year were there. The things they had to say only made me love and admire my mother more.

A friend of my sister's who is also dying from cancer right now stood and talked about legacy. My mother left a wonderful legacy. Her artistic ability lives on in my daughter and I hope myself. I am struggling to tap into it lately.

This morning I received my weekly email from Max Lucado. This week he talked about why we each have the uncanny ability to do certain things. For instance, I have always admired people who can play a musical instrument and sing like nobody's business. Or, when I read a good book, I admire an author who can make the words work so as to weave a story that is so captivating, I can't put the book down. How do they do it?

Max says "God. He knew young Israel would need a code, so he gave Moses a love for the law. He knew the doctrine of grace would need a fiery advocate, so he set Paul ablaze. And in your case, he knew what your generation would need and gave it. He designed you. And his design defines your destiny. Remember Peter’s admonition? “If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies” (1 Pet. 4:11)."

So, my question this week is what exactly God designed me to do? I know I am here to be a wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, but I also know I was made to be creative. I pray that he will help me find the time to do this and to minister to other's hearts through my talents. I hope he will open my eyes to show me how to organize my time better so that I may continue to uphold my responsibilities but also to follow my dreams. I want to leave behind a legacy my daughters would be proud of.

God is working in you to help you want to do and be able to do what pleases him.

Philippians 2:13 NCV

A great parable...

2009-10-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

This was passed on to me in an email from a friend. It is the parable of the egg, carrot and coffee bean. I am unsure who wrote it...

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a

cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life
and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was
going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting
and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one
arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots
with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to
boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed
eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans . She let
them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She
fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the
eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee
out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked,

"Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the
carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then
asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off
the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The
daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then
asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the
same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The
carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after
being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became
weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had
protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the
boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee
beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling
water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity
knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg
or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong,
but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my
strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes
with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a
breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become
hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the
inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened
heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the
hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the
water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are
like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and
change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and
trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another
level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or
a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a
forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of
your past failures and heartaches.

After this year, I would like to think I am a coffee bean. Time will tell...

What about you? Are you a carrot, egg or coffee bean?

Blessings...

2009-10-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

One friend calls them kisses, one calls them blue flowers (great story to go along with this one). Doesn't matter what you call them they are the little signs from God that He is watching over us.

Earlier this week, my mother's best friend of 33 years called me. She visited my Mom just 3 weeks before she passed. Her name is Susan. Susan told me that my Mom told her she only had 2 wishes before she died. One was to see my father one last time. (They have been divorced for about 5 years.) The other was to see her 3 kids together one last time, which she also added that she was sure she would not see this wish come true.

The day after Susan left, my Daddy arrived (wish #1 come true). He spent about 5 days with my Mom. They talked and were able to resolve a lot. In the end there was only sweet, sweet love between them. While Daddy was there, my brother in law gave my sister 2 dozen red roses for their anniversary. My Dad cut one and took it in a small vase with some water in to my Mom. Two weeks later I was visiting and the rose was still there in perfect condition. My sister's bouquets had long since wilted as well as an arrangement I had sent my Mom earlier in the week. The day my Mom passed, the rose was still in almost pristine condition - a true testiment to love. When the mortuary took my Mom, my sister laid the rose on her chest. A kiss, a blue flower, a blessing from God.

I arrived at my Mom's bedside 5 days before she passed. The day after I arrived wish #2 came true. My brother was at a funeral service in Vegas. Something in the service struck a chord with him and he told his wife he thought he needed to see Mom. They were already half way to Phoenix and without an overnight bag they showed up at my sister's. I told him we had been waiting for our missing link to arrive, but didn't want to pressure him. Words cannot express how wonderful it was to see my Mama's beautiful smile as her 3 grown children stood at the foot of her bed. A kiss, a blue flower, a blessing from God.

In the midst of all the heartache. These blessings are what I cling to. God has been here all along watching over us. I take great comfort in that! :)

It's Okay...

2009-10-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

Of course this has been a very rough week. I knew I would miss Mom, but didn't know my heart could hurt so much. Before she passed, I talked to her almost everyday. Even though she lived 2 states away, she was still with me. I find myself wanting to call her and tell her something several times a day.

I have been very comforted by the words of my friends and family this week and I also find great comfort in my little girls and husband. I especially love sharing memories of Mama. And there are some great ones. Like the time my 50something mother beat my very competitive husband in laser tag of all things. That one makes us really laugh. Or a friend of mine from the 5th grade said she remembers my Mom doing her hair. So sweet!

I am looking forward to the Celebration of Life service that we are having in honor of Mom in a couple of weeks. She had many friends in AZ that I didn't know and I can't wait to hear their memories of my sweet, beautiful mother.

Something else that really made me smile this week is my friend Aamie brought me a blank journal to write my memories of Mama in. I will be adding the memories of others also so that I can give this to my daughters and they will know how very special a woman their Nana was.

I am not ashamed to say that I occasionally see a Christian counselor who I consider more of a friend than a professional I pay money too. She cried with me this week. Such a sweet lady. When I left she gave me a verse she found after her mother passed 10 years ago...

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. ~ Psalm 116:15

Dear Sweet Mama...

2009-10-12T18:16:00.000-07:00

For what is it to die

but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is it to cease breathing,

but to free the breath from its restless tides,

that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence

shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top,

then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs,

then you shall surely dance.

~Kahlil Gibran

Rest in sweet peace in the company of angels Mama.

I will surely miss your beautiful, sweet smile
and I will carry you with me in my heart forever.

I love you.

♥

Surrender..

2009-10-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

I am in Arizona now. The weather is gorgeous. We slept with the windows open last night.

On the plane ride on the way here last night. I was able to view God's amazing creation. We passed over the cold front that is headed for Houston today. So majestic watching big thunder clouds illuminated with lightning from above. Definitely not something you get the chance to see everyday and of course this "weather girl" absolutely loved it.

My Mama chose to stop her feeding source on Wednesday which has enabled her to get more comfort. She weakens by the moment and her grace and beauty in her surrender amaze me. I am sad, but I see God's hand moving and I lean on the fact he is holding us close at this time.

Hold your loved ones close, let go of the lies that the enemy wants us to believe, forgive. In the end ther is only love. Time is a precious gift from God... don't squander it.

I so appreciate the continued prayers of friends and family.

Just breathe...

2009-10-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

It is time to really settle in and just breathe. I am going to visit my Mom tonight and coming back on Sunday. This will probably be our last visit. Please pay for Mom and my family.

Thank you Aamie for sending me this quote today...

A Christian is a person who, when getting to the end of his/her rope, ties a knot and determines to hang on, realizing that human extremity now becomes God's opportunity. -Unknown

Let God's grace see us all through these times.

Hold My Heart...

2009-10-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry to post so many videos lately, but I find great comfort in music. Now I am about to go the way of all the earth.You know with all your heart and soul that not one of the good promisesthe Lord your God gave you has failed.Every promise has been fulfilled, not one has failed.~Joshua 23:14

Gratitude...

2009-10-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

Gratitude for...

A romantic weekend with my sweetheart in Charleston, SC.

A beautiful sunset and great food with my baby on our mini vacation.

Skilled doctors and sweet daughters to get me through jaw surgery.

The "don't list" my 6 year old attached to my bedroom door while I was recuperating.

Sweet drawings from my babies to help me feel better.

Every extra minute I am given to talk with this sweet woman on the phone.

Thanking God today...

...that I am healing from jaw surgery the way I should be

...that my hubby really stepped it up and was there for me in the past 2 weeks

...that my sister is taking such wonderful care of my mother as she has been in the past 2 years

...that my Dad is visiting my mother right now, she needs him,

divorce doesn't mean a thing when two people love each other for over 35 years,

nothing but love matters in the end

God in his infinite wisdom is guiding us through these times. Much gratitude.

Going on a bloggy hiatus...

2009-09-16T04:53:00.000-07:00

Hey all! I am going on a bloggy hiatus. My hubby and I leave for South Carolina for a much needed romantic weekend on Friday. We will return early Monday morning to prepare for my jaw surgery on Tuesday.

I'll be back as soon as I can and I will miss blogging in the meantime.

Prayers are appreciated, for Mom, for me and for my whole family.

♥

Praying out loud...

2009-09-11T04:54:00.000-07:00

Last night I was invited to a friend's house. Three of my closest friends were there. C, A, and G. They had asked me there to pray for my surgery and healing in the upcoming weeks. The three of them took turns praying for me out loud. It was so comforting to hear their words and feel the presence of God in that room. They all speak so eloquently to God when they pray and I wanted so badly to pray out loud with them, but sometimes feel like my words wouldn't be right. So this morning, I have a prayer.

Dear God, thank you so very much for putting such awesome Christian women in my life. I have no idea what I would have done without them in the past few years. They are truely amazing and I feel so blessed that you have brought them to me. I feel rejuvenated in their presence whether I am with one or all of them. Please continue to fill my heart with all the love they have for me so I can return theirs 100 fold. Each one is so very special to me. Let me never take for granted their beautiful friendships. You are an amazing God and you put them in my life exactly when you knew I needed them. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Amen

Another post that spoke to my heart this morning...

2009-09-09T05:19:00.000-07:00

With all that is going on in my life right now. This post from Robin at All Things Heart and Home really spoke to me this morning. Robin is a fantastic woman who absolutely loves the Lord. While you are there, take a look around. I'm sure you will love her as much as I do!

A Kept Woman

2009-09-09T04:39:00.000-07:00

A cute email that I recieved 2 times yesterday. Another great reminder...

I Am a 'Kept ' Woman?

You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,

But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)

There were times when I thought I could go no longer,

But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)

At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,

But the LORD kept my mouth shut.. (Psa. 13)

Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,

But GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)

When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.

When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)

I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!

I'm blessed to be 'kept '

Do you know a 'kept ' woman?

If so pass it on to her to let her know she is 'Kept '

I'm "Kept" by the Love and Grace of God

Be Still...

2009-09-08T05:03:00.000-07:00

"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

The journey is going to get a little crazier the next couple of weeks, so I am going to cling to my favorite scripture.

Mom is back in the hospital again. Fistulas just keep pushing their way to the surface of her tummy and breaking open . She is in much pain alot of the time. They will probably be doing surgery again in the next couple of days to see if they can help her heal and move on to more chemo. To say getting nutrition from a tube, being in pain and having her stomach constantly leak has become old is an understatement. I am speechless.

My jaw surgery is planned for Sept. 22. I am becoming a little more anxious about that too.

I know God is in control. So I will do my best to rest in that fact and "Be Still" knowing this.

Live for today...

2009-09-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had lunch with my truely wonderful friend Chris. We talked of many things as we always do.

Sometimes the conversation is light, sometimes it is heavier. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry a little. Sometimes they are tears of joy, sometimes they are tears of sorrow for ourselves, for each other, for others.

I marvel at the depths of our conversation and I am overjoyed with the blessing of such a friend to share with. I am also overjoyed with the fact that I have 5-6 such friends. The quote from the movie Hope Floats comes to mind... "My cup overflows."

We discussed how crazy this world has become. How fear of the unknown can grip us. We talked about relationships and how loss brings us closer to others, settles us down, makes us count our blessings.

Take the time to listen to your husband and children today. Talk with them, love on them and soak it all in. Toss the worries of tomorrow aside. We don't know what will happen next and that is okay. We have today.

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:34

He Is With You...

2009-08-26T18:47:00.000-07:00

Just posting and sharing what speaks to my heart...

Mandisa singing "He Is With You"

Control Freak

2009-08-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

Many who know me, may be thinking that I am posting about my darling husband who is a self professed control freak, however, this is not the case. I am writing about me.

In the recent days, I have been pondering the insatiable need I have to hold on to that which is plaguing me. For example, worry over my loved ones. Emotional pain and sadness over relationships. Etc. Etc. Why do we as humans feel the need to hold on to this stuff when God clearly promises he can handle it if we will just hand it over? We aren't really in control anyway. We just like to think we are. We hand it over to God in prayer then just as quick, we take it back.

So today, maybe fifty times over, I will give control up to Him. Let His peace wash over me and know it is all for the greater good.

Control freak no more...

". . .Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. . ." (1 Chronicles 28:20)

Rest In Peace Sweet Henry

2009-08-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

My father-in-law, Henry, passed away last week.

I saw a man so full of faith help his family through a very tough period. This man spent 3 weeks in a hospital, diagnosed with lung cancer at age 82. Last Wednesday, Hospice was called in... Henry was going back home where he could spend his remaining time with his family.

On Thursday, Henry arrived at his country home in Olivia, Texas via ambulance. At the request of the family, the EMT's wheeled him onto the back porch where he was told by his sons that he was home and he could see his pecan orchard... he smiled and nodded his head. Three hours later, we had settled in our hotel and received a call that Henry had passed. This man had held on so that he could die in peace in his own home with his wife of 60 years next to him.

We know Henry is in heaven smiling down on us. Our daughters will surely miss him. Rest in peace sweet Henry. We love you!

A Prayer for Henry...

2009-08-05T14:02:00.001-07:00

Inspired by Sybil MacBeth's blog Praying in Color... this is a prayer for my father in law.

Why is this happening to me...

2009-07-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

Many of my close friends as well as some of you, know that I am going through a very difficult time in my life. As many people do, I have questioned why. Why does this have to hurt so bad Lord? Why is this taking so long Lord? Why aren't you moving quicker Lord? Why Lord? Why?

It's been a while since I have posted, because I have been struggling with these questions. But I have been listening. This past week, some answers have come. The struggles aren't over and I don't know for sure when they will be, but I am reminded by friends to wait patiently, praying and relying on God's grace to bring me through to the other side. One of my favorite songs right now is John Waller's, While I'm waiting.

Lyrics to While I'm Waiting :

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

[ While I'm Waiting Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

I already know in my heart that one reason for this season in my life is to bring me back to God. I can honestly say I am closer to Him than I have ever been and I am looking forward to getting closer. I am on a roll as far as that goes.

A dear, sweet friend of mine sent me a wonderful email this past week and I have been mulling over the things that she said...(C, if you read this please know how much I appreciate your words and prayers and how much I love you!)

"...there are so many times in life when we encounter difficulties and we think "God, get me out of this!" instead of "God, what do you want to show me in this?" Or better yet, "God, how can I make a difference for You in this?"

"...But if you try to see it through the perspective of God's presence in them [trials], it may help you find the strength and peace you need to get to the other side. Because just think....if God chooses you to help Him, you have to know He isn't going to leave your side....you will have everything you need to endure. I know that to be true. If God is anything, He is loving and faithful....you can count on that always."

What a great perspective to take! It's still difficult and man, does it hurt... but what if God is using this for a greater purpose? C's email was inspired by an article she sent to me entitled "Purpose in Adversity".

A couple of days before C's email, I received an email from Max Lucado entitled "My Struggles are about Him". The sentences that struck me from this email were these: "God will use whatever he wants to display his glory. Heavens and stars. History and nations. People and problems. Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all, use it. Use it to the glory of God. Through your problems and mine, may God be seen." From It's Not About Me by Max Lucado.

Hmmm.... do you see a theme here? I think God is trying to get my attention!

I'm listening, my heart is open, and patiently (well, I need to work on that a bit) I will wait.

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ~Romans 5:1-5

A Handy Chart to Keep Close By...

2009-07-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

This is one of those emails that gets passed around, thus I don't not know it's origination. If I did, I promise I would post it. I received it from my friend Aa a couple of years ago. It's just something I thought I would share.

YOU SAY GOD SAYS BIBLE VERSES

You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired" God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me" God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on" God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out" God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it" God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able" God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself" God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage" God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid" God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7) You say: "I'm not smart enough" God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone" God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

I was wondering...

2009-07-01T13:05:00.001-07:00

If you all would be able to help me out in lifting someone's spirits.

As you know, my beautiful mother has battled ovarian cancer valiantly in the past year. We thought for the past 4 months, that the cancer was gone as the CA125 blood test as well as her PET scans were not showing any. However this past week when the doctor did a bowel re-section to rid her of the colostomy bag, they found several small tumors still there.

Mom is having a difficult time physically recovering from this surgery as well as facing what the future holds. She isn't sure she wants to continue with chemo treatments. We are supporting whatever decision she makes. I'm not sure I would want to after the fight she gave in the last year being in the hospital for 6 months straight with a wound in her belly getting chemo treatments at the same time which are enough to knock even the healthiest person to the ground. She is tired, and I understand this. I am hoping that she will be stronger once she heals from this surgery. What I would like for her right now is to experience the peace and love of all of you who have been praying on her behalf.

Tabitha at I Choose Bliss requested this a couple of weeks ago for her aunt who has been told there is nothing more they can do for her cancer. She said she heard a smile in her aunt's voice when she talked to her. Now I would like to ask this on my mother's behalf.

If you would like to help out, I am just asking for a simple sweet uplifting card or message to be sent to my Mom to help lift her spirits as she makes these difficult decisions. Please let her know she is being prayed for. If you are interested, please email me at lanieintx at comcast dot net, and I will give you a P.O. Box to send your card or note.

Tabitha wrote: I know that LOVE CAN CONQUER ALL. I know that LOVE CAN push through the darkest day.

I truely believe this.

I pray for Mom's healing, comfort, peace and for her to know she is so very loved.

Trusting God with Those We Love...

2009-06-26T05:16:00.001-07:00

My friend Aa sent this too me a few months ago and I purchased the book it came from last week. Mom is spiking temps of 102 or more and her blood pressure is not stable. The are looking for the cause now. I continue to pray.

My Princess...
Trust Me with Those You Love

I know your heart, and I know how much you love those close to you. I am your Creator and the Giver of every good gift. I have given you loved ones to share your life with. But you, My child, must remember that those you love ultimately belong to Me - not to you. I didn't give you those special relationships to tear you apart or to control you through fear of the future. Like Abraham did with his only son Isaac, I need you to open your heart and give back to Me those you love. Trust Me with everything that concerns you regarding them. Place your hand in Mine, and I promise I will walk you - and your loved ones - through all things this life brings.

Love, Your Trustworthy King

Those who trust in the Lord are secure as Mount Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever. - Psalm 125:1

Excerpt from His Princess by Sheri Rose Shepherd.

Commit and Rely...

2009-06-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

In today's Bible study. I learned a bit about human thoughts vs. God's thoughts.

Human thoughts can run away with us. Thoughts such as: I am not good enough. I am not a good mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend etc. I am weak and on an on. Of course these are the opposite of God's thoughts. They are lies. God's thoughts are the truth.

The first step to making over our thought process is to be aware of the thoughts as they come to our minds, "commit our way to God, and rely on His words." (Me, Myself and Lies by Jennifer Rothschild)

So, today, I am committing my way to God and relying on His words, not mine!

"O Lord, how great are Your works! Your thoughts are very deep." Psalm 92:5 NKJV

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!" Psalm 139:17 NKJV

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

"I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evel, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV

Prayer for Mom...

2009-06-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

Update on Mom: Surgery went well and she is out and in recovery. Bowel re-section is done and the bag is gone! The Dr's were unable to do a hysterectomy because there is too much scar tissue that connects all her internal organs together basically. Unfortunately, there are some small tumors that are still there. Talk will start on the path of treatment when she recuperates. Thank you for the prayers today! And thank you God for answering prayers as requested for Mama today!

Sybil on The Prayer Blog happens to pray like this. I used a couple of words she had used in a prayer, but the doodles are all my own. This is a prayer for my mother who is undergoing surgery 2 states away today. She has the framed original with her to take to the hospital.

Today, they will be attempting to repair her ostomy so that she can live without a colostomy bag, remove her ovaries to lessen chances of cancer recurring, and check on her ailing kidney (the only one she was born with). She is worried that the surgery won't be successful, and whether she is strong enough to withstand it.

Prayers for my mom and my sister are greatly appreciated today.

Me, Myself and Lies...

2009-06-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

Starting Tuesday, June 23rd, I will be following along with Jennifer Rothschild's Bible study Me, Myself, and Lies (a thought closet makeover). I found this study through Beth Moore's LPM blog.

I have chosen to follow along with Christine at http://lifeversewomen.com/. She will be showing the videos, using the leader kit, the whole shebang. If you are interested, visit her site for details.

The back of the workbook reads as follows:

"We all talk to ourselves all the time. We evaluate everything we do, compare ourselves to others, and even call ourselves names. We disparage who we are instead of telling ourselves the truth about who God says we are.

Me, Myself and Lies deals iwth our destructive, unrealistic, sel-talk. In this study Jennifer Rothschild explores the power of self-talk. As she takes us through the things we commonly say to ourselves, she teaches us to practice godly and biblical self-talk."

I'll be blogging my thoughts a little bit here.

Update on Katie... Thank you for the prayers.

2009-06-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

We are home. Katie was a trooper through her surgery today. She is milking the popsicle thing for all that it is worth... and I am letting her! My sweet, brave girl never even cried. We'll see how she is doing once the drugs wear off.

Thanks so much for all the sweet thoughts. This is one major thing done and over with. I'm sure there will be others to take the place of it. Such is life.

I must say how thankful I am for relatively healthy children. I watched a mother cry in the restroom after they took her infant daughter back for a surgical procedure, a mother follow her toddler around with an iv pole so that she could play with all the toys in the waiting area like all the other children and a teenage boy come out of anesthesia after a bone marrow aspiration, and yet another was going under for a chemo treatment. My heart goes out to all children who are suffering as well as the parents as I am so sure this would rip my very heart out. I cannot imagine and thank God for the fact that Katie and Nikki have only had these minor issues.

Shackles...

2009-06-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

My friend Aa occasionally sends emails to our little group of friends that really uplift, inspire, or just make you think. She is the one responsible for the prayer for my family.

I asked for her permission to occasionally post what she sends to me. Most of her emails speak right to my heart, probably because in the past 6 years she has come to know me so well. She said yes so here is one she sent earlier this week that totally got me because I had gotten off track this weekend with some incidences that happened. Personally, I think she should write a book of devotions.

Here are Aa's words:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRayKxgePQI

I heard this song played on KSBJ just the other day. Usually I jam to it; but on that day, I couldn't keep myself from tears. And again, today when I looked it up on YouTube, the tears just came. We all have our "chains." Fear. Worry. Fatigue. Anger. Lust. Greed. Just to name a few. The thing I love about this song, what makes me cry and lift my hands, is that Jesus already accomplished what needed to be done to break the chains. He even gave us a Helper to guide us into all truth (John 16). I can't help but raise my hands because of what He has already accomplished for me, for His glory.

Thank You, Chain Breaker, for sending Your Son to take on Your wrath so that it would not be poured out on me. Thank You for Jesus' sacrifice. His death. And most of all, thank You for His victory over death! He has conquered! Thank You for the Helper, the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth that You sent me. You have given me everything I need to walk in freedom.

It is for freedom that Christ set you free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to the yolk of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

Psalm 138
Thanksgiving for the LORD'S Favor.

A Psalm of David.

1(A)I will give You thanks with all my heart;

I will sing praises to You before the (B)gods.

2I will bow down (C)toward Your holy temple

And (D)give thanks to Your name for Your lovingkindness and Your truth;

For You have (E)magnified Your word according to all Your name.

3On the day I (F)called, You answered me;

You made me bold with (G)strength in my soul.

4(H)All the kings of the earth will give thanks to You, O LORD,

When they have heard the words of Your mouth.

5And they will (I)sing of the ways of the LORD,

For (J)great is the glory of the LORD.

6For (K)though the LORD is exalted,

Yet He (L)regards the lowly,

But the (M)haughty He knows from afar.

7Though I (N)walk in the midst of trouble, You will (O)revive me;

You will (P)stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies,

And Your right hand will (Q)save me.

8The LORD will (R)accomplish what concerns me;

Your (S)lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting;

(T)Do not forsake the (U)works of Your hands.

Fear...

2009-06-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

“According to the Bible, there is nothing wrong with realistically acknowledging and trying to deal with the identifiable problems of life. To ignore danger is fooling and wrong. But it is also wrong, as well as unhealthy, to be immobilized by excessive worry. Such worry must be committed to prayer to God, who can release us from paralyzing fear or anxiety, and free us to deal realistically with the needs and welfare both of others and of ourselves.” (Dr. Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling, p. 66.)

Big things are happening in the future here.

My 6 year old is scheduled for surgery Friday for a tonsillectomy, adnoidectomy and possibly tubes in her ears. I am not afraid of the surgery itself, I am afraid of her reactions to everything. As a Mom, I want to take away all the pain and scariness of it all.

My mother who has battled ovarian cancer in the bravest way in the past year has had a body weakened by the chemo. She was born with one kidney that doesn't seem to be working the way it should. Next Tuesday, she is headed for yet another surgery to repair an ostomy that was created last fall when her ovarian cancer was first diagnosed, as well as removing her ovaries and checking on that kidney. I do not live near my mother and because I have small children, it isn't easy to travel 2 states to be with her. Not to mention that because of Katie's surgery this week, I will be indisposed of for a week or so. I fear that her body cannot handle the harshness of yet another invasive surgery.

I have lived with sleep apnea for years now. Probably all my life. I just didn't know it until I had someone (hubby) to diagnose me with it because I was keeping him up all night. I am unable to tolerate a cpap machine and so I muddle through my days, sometimes with extreme fatigue to the point that I prioritize what absolutely has to be done each day. It affects all areas of my life. Relationships, mental and physical health etc. I am scheduled to have major jaw surgery in September. They will be breaking my jaw and moving it forward to open my very narrow air passage so that I can breath on my own at night without the help of a machine. I am very much looking forward to sleeping through the night uninterrupted and waking refreshed and ready to tackle my day. God ony knows how I will make it through the next 3 months until then. I don't fear the surgery, I fear what will happen if it does not correct the problem. I fear the recovery.

I am only voicing these fears so that they can be known and I can take them to God. Rest in him and know His hand is working in all of this. Also to ask for prayer for peace and strength for all of us as we tackle these obstacles with His help.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).

“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NIV).

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5).

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones” (Proverbs 3:5-8).

“…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:26-28).

Hitting the wall...

2009-06-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

No, I don't mean literally hitting the wall. Figuratively speaking this is what I have done in the past 4 days. Thank goodness for the accountability of friends. Aa says she knew something was wrong, when I haven't blogged for a whole week! She wasn't meaning too, but I am glad she is holding me accountable.

Today, I pray my heart will open even wider than it has in the past few weeks and I will listen to God and not let my crazy thoughts get in the way. I pray that I will focus on what really matters most and forgive and forget the rest.

Short and sweet, just to let you know that I am trying to get back on track!

Prayer for my family from a friend...

2009-06-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

Lord God, Almighty, You are the Lover of our souls.
The Maker of Heaven and of Earth and all it contains.
You are Magnificent and Beautiful. Glorious to behold.
What can we do to bless You today?
Be magnified by our decisions and actions!

Your daughter needs Your help today. Please be her Helper.
She needs Your wisdom today. Be her Counselor.
She needs Your Peace today. Be her Peace.
She needs Your Strength today. Be her Rock, Shield and Defender.

Your son needs You today. Be his Focus.
He needs Your tenderness. Show him what love and tenderness is.
He needs Your priorities. Show him what your plan is so he knows what is important.
Meet Your son where he is and show him mercy and love.

Your precious little ones need you today. Be their Comfort.
They need your healing today. Be their Physician.
They need help understanding Your ways. Be their Teacher.

Above all we praise You. You are "I Am."
Thank you for meeting all our needs, seen and unseen.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Little" blessings...

2009-06-07T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, to my chagrin, my 6 year old woke up with a 102.5 temp. Poor, sweet thing was not going to be able to attend a Build A Bear party with her 3 year old sister in the afternoon. My friends Aa and G were kind enough too make the afternoon easier on us as DH was not home to help. They took Nikki to the party and returned her with her bear as well as a kitty for Katie. Before they left, Aa sent her little boy down with some mini cupcakes and little princess jewelry party favors for Katie. After Nikki was seen out the door, I promptly took Katie in the kitchen and we had a little party ourselves and then watched a movie together. Rarely do the two of us have time alone together since she started kindergarten.

At 7pm Katie's Motrin started wearing off so I gave her another dose and she fell asleep on the couch. At 2am she woke up and cried out that she was hot and dizzy. I took her temperature and it was... 104.5! Another dose of Motrin, cold packs and sipping ice water for the next 1-1/2 hours brought her back down to 101.5.

The reason I am sharing this with you is that in my learning to turn to God the past couple of weeks, I decided to pray out loud over my little bitty. I asked for God to heal her and make her feel better and for Him to please give me the wisdom to know what to do for her and when I should take her into the ER if I needed to. This led to a conversation with my wonderfully wise little girl about if God doesn't answer prayers. Wow! I've only learned recently myself that I need to trust God's will for the outcome of situations. How would I explain that to her? So, I simply told her that God loves us and wants the very best for us and sometimes that means not answering prayers that we pray in the way we want them answered. He is in control of all of it and there is a reason for every experience in our lives. I think she got it... at least she said she did. I guess we will see.

Little blessings from yesterday:

1. Great friends who help out in a time of need.
2. Precious time with my daughter who is growing up all too fast.
3. Gentle reminder from God that even through the yuck (Katie being sick) there are so many great things in my life.

Katie's fever is not gone, but is under control and she will probably go to the pediatrician tomorrow. I have a feeling she has an ear infection again. We will see...

Surrender

2009-06-05T04:49:00.000-07:00

So I missed a day yesterday. I usually come in to the computer, read a chapter from Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life and then do a post. My 3 year old however, was having none of that and got up fairly earlier than usual. I found that I really missed my time!

While reading my chapter this morning, I found a few points (these are taken directly from the book) that made me really think:

"You know you've surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda, and control the situation."

"Instead of trying harder, trust more."

"Sometimes you may have to surrender 50 times a day."

Pretty interesting... One of the hardest things I have ever done is to learn to surrender to God all that I try to control myself. But I am working on it daily and it brings me peace to know that He is in control.

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury,pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not

so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen

Keeping Thoughts Captive...

2009-06-03T04:42:00.001-07:00

I have always had a tendency to let my mind race. What if? I'm a bad _____ (you fill in the blank with mother, daughter, sister, friend, wife, person). He, she, they think this about me. And on and on.

So, I have been working on keeping my thoughts captive.

Surely, the things that I hear in my head such as I have listed above are not from God.

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Psalm 13:1-3

Only about as long as God and I let him have triumph.

I love this scripture here too... (I am going to list some of the translations I found for it.)

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. Proverbs 4:23 (TEV)

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)

While looking for these scriptures, I found this...

Drops Of Character

Have you ever watched an icicle form' Did you notice how the dripping water froze, one drop at a time, until the icicle was a foot long or more? If the water was clean, the icicle remained clear and sparkled brightly in the sun; but if the water was slightly muddy, the icicle looked cloudy, its beauty spoiled. Our character is formed in like manner. Each thought or feeling adds its influence. Each decision we make - both great and small - contributes its part. Everything we take into our minds and souls - impressions, experiences, images, or words - helps create our character. At all times, we must be aware of the "droplets" we allow to drip into our lives. Acts that develop habits of hate, falsehood, and evil intent mar and eventually destroy us--but habits born of love, truth, and goodness silently mold and fashion us into the image of God. [God's Little Devotional Bible]

And so, each thought that tries to bring me down gets written in a journal as soon as possible, then forgotten. I've been working to fill the void with the good things God has given me (family, friends, art and music) and then... remembering to thank Him for them.

Who defines me?

2009-06-02T04:50:00.000-07:00

I'm so very tired this morning. I can't seem to get moving although I should (and quick). The air conditioning repair guy will be here at 8AM and in the mean time, I have 2 little girls that I need to get ready for the day (one for school) and I myself need a shower. But I digress...

I don't plan on doing this often, but since Peggy gives permission on her blog and this spoke to my heart. I thought I would share it. At the end of this post there is a link to Peggy's blog. Please be sure to visit her.

Who Defines You?
Who defines You? Who or what influences the way you think about yourself? Often times we allow ourselves to be defined by the opinions of others…good or bad, by our successes or failures, or worst of all by that nagging inner voice focusing on our weaknesses in detail. All of these sources for self-evaluation waver in their credibility. This being so, it is important we have a strong foundation regarding God’s opinion of us—a foundational truth of who we are in the eyes of our creator.

If or when your mind begins to wonder from the truth of “who you are” be reminded of these foundational truths:

You were carefully thought out even before your days on earth even began:You are not a mistake or just a product of your environment. You were carefully thought out and masterminded before your life even began.

“Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you. The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” (Psa. 139:16-17 Message)

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jer. 1:5)

You are God’s masterpiece:

God doesn’t make mistakes! God himself created you wonderfully; you are His masterpiece. You are created for good things, NOT bad. God doesn’t wish bad for you, He has good things planned for you.

“For You (God) created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13-14 Message)

“For you are God’s masterpiece. He has created you new in Christ Jesus so you can do good things that he planned for you long ago.” (Eph. 2:10)

You are loved by God and He fills you with His love:

God loves you so much that he sacrificed His only Son for you. His love is unconditional, there is nothing you can do to deserve it; your part is to receive it. You will never hear God say, “If you do this I won’t love you anymore.” There is nothing that can make Him stop loving you and there is nothing that can ever separate you from His love. You may have days where you feel unloved or unlovable but His love is ever present and forever extended with open arms of grace.

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His only Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1John 4:10)

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us.” (Rom. 5:5)

“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 8:35,37-39)

You are forgiven:

Don’t wallow in guilt. God offers you forgiveness for all sin freeing you from any internment of guilt. You are not only forgiven but also redeemed to walk in righteousness. For you no longer are subject to darkness but can walk in Light with eyes wide open to the Truth that frees you.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1John 1:9 NIV)

“Give thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” (Col. 1:12-14 NIV)

You are a child of God:You belong to God; you are a part of His family. You are His precious child…He is your Father! This truth will never change!

“To all who received Him (as Lord), to those who believed in his name (Jesus Christ), he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13 NIV)

“For in Him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.” (Acts 17:28)

You are the sacred temple of God:

God loves you so much that He sees your life as a sacred temple—a place for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit—the Spirit of Jesus Christ. With His Holy Spirit you are forever sealed (protected) as HIS.

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.” (1Cor. 3:16-17)

“Repent and be baptized, everyone of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38)

“And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.” (Eph. 1:13)

You are valuable to God:You are so valuable to God;

He is concerned with every detail of your life. He has numbered every hair on your head. He has even determined the exact time and place you should live. If God cared enough to do all this for you will He not care enough to meet your every need, to hear your silent cries, and to carry your deepest burden…YES, He will! You are valuable…speak His value into your life! He is concerned with the details of your life.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? (Matt 6:26)

“And even the hairs on your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Matt. 10:30-31)

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times and the exact places where they should live.” (Acts 17:26)

“O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.” (Psa. 139:1-3)

You are chosen by God:

God chose you! He picked you to be on His team—in His family—to receive His benefits. He wants you for eternity. Have you ever just wanted to be one of the chosen elite….well you are! You are God’s chosen elite.

“But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you.” 1(Peter 2:9 Message)

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love.” (Eph. 1:4 NIV)

“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.” (Eph. 1:11-12 NIV)

God wants you to prosper:

God doesn’t just want you to just get by or struggle in life. He wants you to prosper (to flourish, to thrive, to grow), don’t accept anything less then God’s plan for your life. Continue to work out your salvation (to press on in your faith) for God wants to work in you for His GOOD purpose.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jer. 29:11 NIV)

“—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling (fear of not wanting to miss out!), for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Phil. 2:12-13)

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” (3John 2)

Gods eternal promise to you:

God is not finished with you! He is working to develop and perfect you into the mirror image of the glory of God. Whatever stage you’re at in life, whatever circumstances you’re engulfed in, God is still working. Your hope is in believing (confessing) that He is working out His very best in you.

“I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ developing and perfecting and bringing it in to completion in you.” (Phil 1:16)

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed in the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” (2Cor. 3:18)

What foundational truth do you build you self worth on? Who or what defines you?

Peggy Reeves is a speaker, writer and life coach. To find out more about Peggy please visit her website and blog at www.peggyreeves.com and http://embracinglifewithpeggy.blogspot.com

Hope

2009-06-01T04:32:00.000-07:00

"Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. [1] Hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude.
When used in a religious context, hope carries a connotation of being aware of what Christians see as spiritual "truth"; see Hope (virtue). In Christian theology, hope is one of the three theological virtues (faith, hope, and charity), which are spiritual gifts of God. In contrast to the above, it is not a physical emotion but a spiritual grace. Hope is distinct from positive thinking, which refers to a therapeutic or systematic process used in psychology for reversing pessimism. The term false hope refers to a hope based entirely around a fantasy or an extremely unlikely outcome.
In some religious contexts hope changes from being a verb to a noun. For instance, when Christians say they have hope in God they are not saying they hope God will give them good things and make their lives happier but that God is in fact, their hope." ~ Wikipedia

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:31

Untitled Hymn

2009-05-31T04:22:00.000-07:00

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

Chris Rice - Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) Lyrics

Prayer

2009-05-30T05:43:00.000-07:00

"You can draw near to God even though you cannot say a word. A prayer may be crystallised in a tear. A tear is enough water to float a desire to God." - Charles H. Spurgeon

The above quote was shared with me by a very close and very dear friend of mine (we will call her Aa). There have been days recently when my emotional pain has been so deep regarding some of the relationships in my life that I could not even muster the strength to say "help". Fortunately, I am blessed with some wonderful friends like Aa who have rallied and have been praying me through. Who could ask for more than to be able to rest in the comfort that someone is interceding on your behalf because you haven't the strength to do so yourself.

When Aa asked me if she could gather the other's via email to do this for me. My first thought was..."I am embarrassed I can't handle these things on my own. I am weak. I should be able to at least pray for myself." Since that day, my feelings on this have changed. Aa (as well as another friend C)reminded me that it is a privilege to pray on other's behalf. Sometimes the load is too heavy and a friend is required to help carry it to the Lord.

Through the help of P (my lovely counselor) I am learning to get my direct connection to God back on track. Thanks to G for recommending that I go see her. I am able now to even open up and pray for others in my life, even when I don't really feel like it. When I am angry, I am working on changing it to pray the anger away and ask God to bless the person I am angry with (and I have a lot of anger lately!).

I have also learned through the blog world (see my links to the right) that you can pray and worship in so many different ways. The two that I am most enamoured with are art and music. It is just the way I was created to think and I am looking forward to using the two a lot more to center my attention on Him.

My gratitude for Aa, G, C, M, I, T, and P for helping me as I grow stronger. I am realizing now why my struggles are so deep. Jesus wants me to come back to Him! Thanks for your continued prayer and support. I know some of the problems won't go away, but at least I am learning to get a different perspective on them!

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. Luke 18:1 Some days my words will be few, but I know that God knows my heart.

My Identity in Christ

2009-05-29T04:38:00.000-07:00

My Identity in Christ

Because of Christ's redemption,

I am a new creation of great worth.

I am deeply loved,

Completely forgiven

Fully pleasing, totally accepted by God,

And absolutely complete in Christ.

There has never been another person like me

In the history of mankind,

Nor will there ever be.

God has made me an original,

One of a kind, really somebody!

Taken from The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee

I really believe...

2009-05-28T17:38:00.000-07:00

That God uses difficult times to get my attention. I am going through a few things in my life that I admit that I cannot control. There is too much for me to carry and my "aha" moment for today is it really isn't all mine to carry. Through the help of a trusted Christian counselor I am working on really letting God move in my life. It is time to give up trying to control it and relinquish it to Him.

Through this blog, I will be journaling the journey and hope that there are readers who would like to take it with me. Every day is a new day and by the grace of God, we are given the chance to try again. I know He loves me and wants the very best for me and my family. I'm opening up to what He has to offer.